The Boss called me into his office today. He gave me a long boring speech, then smiled and said, “Welcome to the ranks. Amy will show you to your new desk.” There was indeed a lady who introduced herself as Amy waiting outside. She led me to the other side of the building, the side reserved for the ACH. There was indeed a desk, not to mention an office around it. She introduced me to some of my new co-workers, then assigned me to Scott. I was to learn the ropes from him: what we do, how to do it and so on. It sounds exciting.
January 12, 2009
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-…then smiled and said “welcome to the ranks. Amy will show you to new desk.”- You need a comma after “said” and a capital “w” in “welcome”. I also think there should be another word between “to” and “new”.
-She introduced to some of my new co-workers…- Missed a “me” after “introduced”.
-I was to learn the ropes from him, what we do, how to do it and so on. It sounds exciting- I think it might be better with a colon after “him” and a period at the end of the last sentence.
I’m sorry I haven’t stopped by in a while…Been quite busy for a while but I just posted a bunch on my blog earlier…You may want to check Mr. Gifford’s as well…
Is this a new story, or are you writing about yourself?
Comment by hyperwires — January 14, 2009 @ 4:46 pm |
This is Noelle, by the way…I’ve got quite a few accounts on WordPress, but my main writing blog (such as for Magic Pens,) is located here: http://hyperwires.wordpress.com
Comment by hyperwires — January 14, 2009 @ 4:47 pm |
This is a story I started back in…. March? of last year. I puttered forward and got a bunch done, the set them to submit
haven’t touched it since.
it will get creepily sci-fi/relegious
We’ll see how far it goes…
Comment by Matt — January 15, 2009 @ 2:35 pm |