Proud to be an Idgit

This is the book in progress, Proud to be an Idgit, is an embellished Autobiography that doesn’t tell the life of Matt, but his thoughts. Its thrown together at near random and, thanks to the power of the internet, is fully indexed (when applicable), so if you don’t get what he’s saying, click the link and it might just answer your question. You’ll lose you place, but you may understand more than before and another link should get you back.

Note: your comments are important. I’ll focus on certain areas if youse guys force me to. Don’t let me procrastinate. Get me to work on this.

Japan
Wires
Government
Details and Progress
The Easy Party

Japan

So anyway, I was sitting in the commons at lunch. For those of you who are not familiar with sitting in the commons, it involves the area at my high school that was a combination entry way and cafeteria. Rather like an airport, now that I think about it. It also involves a table and a chair. I was feeling rather mad at the world in general, mainly because the people I sat with didn’t pay me a scrap of attention. The spent their time reading their Manga. I was kind of peeved at this neglect, so I started to rant and rave. I called them Japophiles, made some jokes, and finally, in a dead serious voice, I let them in on the secret.

“You realize, of course, that Japan doesn’t exist?”

This, as intended, threw them from their passive resistance. Unfortunately, they went on the attack.

I won’t bore you with their threats, name calling, etc and proceed to their “facts” and how I shattered them.

Wires

Wires are one of the worlds biggest hoaxes. People seem to think that they pass information by transmitting electrical charges. Well that’s just wrong. They actually pass information by tangling. The more they tangle, the more difficult of a message they are trying to convey.

Our Government

The purpose of the government is to distract the population from knowing whats going on. This can be used to your advantage. If you have a problem that you can’t blame on the government, your not creative enough. For example: “My internet doesn’t work because that survaillence van is sapping my bandwith.”

Detail

Detail and progress are arch enemies. You can’t progress if you focus on details and it ain’t that pretty if you do nothing but git er done. An intresting saying is that the Devil is in the details, which indicates that Christ is in the “git er done” philosohpy.

The Easy Party

People want the easy way out. They hate to work. In fact, I have noticed some people have done more work to avoid work than it would actually take to accomplish the task. I think we need a government that reflects that. The “Easy Party,” we’ll call it. They’ll stand on the principle of “No one wants to listen to this lawyer crap.” They’ll cut out the crap of our foriegn policy by saying: “We’re right and always right because our millitary armaments tell us so.” They go Uber hard on crime, have a set policy for the the death sentance. something along the lines of a credit base. 5 killings, 3 rapes, or 1 million dollars stolen or vandalised. Anyone using drugs will be taken to a special facility where they will live a life of hard labor, but have access to whatever drugs they want. If we make the hard labor a type of mining, that’s two or three birds with one stone. Money will be given to schools to straighten them out. How bout this: If a child graduates from high school with a 3.0 GPA or higher, they are eligable for a 2,000 dollar present from Uncle Sam. A 3.5 GPA gives them 3,000 and a 4.0 gets them 4,000 dollars.